Insights from Ex-IBM CEO: Here’s the No. 1 Thing My Mom Did to Raise Four Highly Successful Executives

When Ginni Rometty, the former CEO of IBM, recalls her childhood, she highlights one crucial lesson from her mother that profoundly influenced her and her siblings: “Never let someone else define who you are.” This principle became the foundation of their resilience and success.

Rometty’s family faced significant challenges. Her father, the primary breadwinner, abandoned the family when Rometty was just 15 years old. This sudden departure left them destitute—without a home, food, or financial support. The family had to rely on food stamps and government aid. Despite these hardships, Rometty’s mother found a job at a local hospital, demonstrating incredible strength and perseverance.

A Lesson in Resilience

The adversity that Rometty’s family faced didn’t break them. Instead, it forged a deep-seated resilience in each of the children. Rometty’s youngest sister, Darlene Nicosia, is now the CEO of Hearthside Food Solutions, a food manufacturing company. Another sister, Anette Rippert, served as chief executive of strategy at Accenture before her retirement. Their brother, Joe Nicosia, is a trading operations officer at the merchant firm Louis Dreyfus Company.

The Power of a Positive Outlook

Rometty often reflects on how these experiences influenced her outlook on life. “My mom never let her circumstances define her future as a victim,” Rometty stated. This mindset of overcoming obstacles through hard work and self-definition became a core value for Rometty and her siblings. As she puts it, “This idea of hard work, this idea of a way forward, this idea of ... only defining yourself would become the core of who I’d be over time, as I look back.”

Learning from Adversity

Rometty’s experience is echoed by many successful figures who have turned hardship into triumph. For instance, Oprah Winfrey has spoken about growing up in Mississippi without basic amenities like water and electricity. Mark Cuban, a prominent entrepreneur, recounted his struggles in his 20s when he slept on the floor and used Motel 6 towels while building his first startup, MicroSolutions.

These stories illustrate a common theme: the ability to endure and grow from adversity is crucial to achieving success. Christine Carter, a sociologist and VP of transformation science at BetterUp, reinforces this idea. She writes, “Elite performers turn adversity into success. Since adversity in life is a given, our success and happiness depend on our ability not just to cope with it but to actually grow because of it.”

The Long-Term Impact of Overcoming Hardship

For Rometty, overcoming childhood hardships taught her to maintain an optimistic and forward-thinking perspective. She recalls, “After that, nothing ever really looked bad to me. I always felt like, there’s no bad ending after this.” This attitude has undoubtedly contributed to her resilience and success in the business world.